Rough Draft

I know I'm not a good writer and no one reads this anyway, so I thought to add a rough draft of a piece I wrote tonight. When I say rough I really mean rough. I never really liked poems so I have no idea why I decided to write this one, but hey whatever.

I cried myself to sleep tonight,

and nobody was there.

Tonight my heart was breaking.

Not a single soul was there.

I’ve never been in love,

felt that excitement, hope, and fear.

But my heart breaks anyway.

I laugh through all my tears.

I see the people all around,

talking,

laughing,

living.

I want to be there with them,

but my heart still goes on breaking.

Something is wrong with me.

Something isn’t right.

How can I be surrounded

yet feel all alone inside?

I’m not what they want, I say,

But maybe I can change.

I tried again tonight to be

the girl they’ll finally love.

I feel defeated, broken now.

I just can’t keep on trying.

I joke and rib and laugh and play,

Still demons hide inside.

Behind the laughter, jokes, and games

There’s nothing left to find.

I cried myself to sleep tonight

And nobody would hear

I let them see what they want.

I dance a happy dance.

It’s a mockery,

a shell,

a well coordinated play.

I am not a gentle lady but a messed up girl instead.

I have passion, love, and kindness,

hidden deep within.

Tonight my heart is breaking.

Not a single soul is here.

But someday I won’t mind so much

‘Cause someday they will know.

I was worth all the time,

the love,

and care.

But for tonight,

I cry myself to sleep

while nobody is here.